The Kink Checklist

104 items across eight categories, each rated yes / curious / maybe / no / hard limit. Your ratings save to this device only — nothing is uploaded. Print (or save as PDF) to bring a clean copy into a conversation with a partner; the printout includes only what you've rated.

0/104Yes: 0Curious: 0Maybe: 0No: 0Hard limit: 0

Dynamics & power exchange

Power exchange is consensual and revocable by definition — agree on scope, duration, and an unambiguous way to pause before you begin.

  • Taking the lead
  • Following a partner's lead
  • Giving orders
  • Following orders
  • Protocol & etiquette rules
  • Earned rewards
  • Agreed consequences
  • Bratting / playful defiance
  • Domestic service dynamics
  • Pet-name dynamics
  • Owner/pet roleplay
  • 24/7 dynamics (negotiated)
  • Contracts & written agreements
  • Permission rituals
  • Task assignments

Words & tone

Words leave marks too. Pre-agree vocabulary that's welcome, tolerated, and off the table — and revisit after trying it.

  • Praise & affirmation
  • Pet names
  • Formal titles & honorifics
  • Playful teasing
  • Consensual insults (agreed words only)
  • Consensual humiliation (private)
  • Begging
  • Dirty talk (giving)
  • Dirty talk (receiving)
  • Voice commands
  • Silence rules
  • Reciting agreed lines

Sensation & impact

Start lighter than you think, avoid joints/kidneys/spine, learn anatomy before tools, and check in on the day after — bodies vote late.

  • Massage
  • Feather-light touch
  • Scratching (light)
  • Biting (light)
  • Hand spanking
  • Paddles
  • Floggers
  • Riding crops
  • Canes (experienced partners)
  • Pinching
  • Clothes-pin style clamps
  • Ice & cold play
  • Warm wax (body-safe, low-temp candles)
  • Temperature contrast
  • Tickling
  • Menthol/cooling gels (patch-test first)
  • Electro toys (body-safe units only)
  • Marks that fade in days

Restraint & rope

Keep safety shears within reach, never leave a restrained partner alone, avoid the neck entirely, and learn nerve-safe placement before anything elaborate.

  • Holding wrists (no gear)
  • Cuffs (padded)
  • Rope (decorative)
  • Rope (functional ties)
  • Chest harnesses (non-constricting)
  • Spreader bars
  • Under-bed restraint kits
  • Blindfolds
  • Earmuffs / sound dampening
  • Mummification (experienced, supervised)
  • Being restrained
  • Doing the restraining
  • Struggling by agreement
  • Stillness rules (no gear)

Roleplay & scenarios

Scenario play needs a clear out-of-character signal. Anything involving simulated non-consent requires explicit prior negotiation and a safeword system that overrides the fiction — see the dictionary's CNC entry.

  • Costumes & dressing up
  • Character roleplay
  • Uniform scenarios
  • Strangers-meeting scenario
  • Teacher/student (adult characters)
  • Boss/employee scenario
  • Royalty/servant scenario
  • Fantasy & story settings
  • Age-gap roleplay (adults playing adults)
  • Caregiver/little dynamics (adults)
  • Capture scenarios (negotiated, see CNC)
  • Consensual non-consent (advanced, negotiated)
  • Scripted scenes
  • Improvised scenes

Display & being seen

Everyone visible or within earshot must be a consenting adult; public spaces where bystanders can't consent are off the table. Photos need explicit agreement on storage and deletion.

  • Lingerie & dressing for a partner
  • Private photos (agreed rules)
  • Being watched by a partner
  • Watching a partner
  • Mirrors
  • Dancing for a partner
  • Attending play events (as observer)
  • Attending play events (as participant)
  • Being overheard (within consenting company)

Textures & materials

Check skin sensitivities and allergies first (latex especially). Body-safe materials only: silicone, glass, steel — porous novelty materials don't sanitise.

  • Silk & satin
  • Leather
  • Latex & PVC
  • Lace
  • Fur & soft textures
  • Metal (cool, smooth)
  • Glass (annealed, body-safe)
  • Corsetry (waist-safe lacing)
  • High heels & boots
  • Collars (decorative)
  • Collars (dynamic significance)
  • Body jewellery (non-piercing)

Aftercare & rituals

Aftercare is part of the scene, not an optional epilogue — agree on it beforehand. Drop (a mood dip hours or days later) is common and normal; plan a check-in.

  • Cuddling & warmth
  • Water & snacks ritual
  • Debrief conversation
  • Quiet time together
  • Quiet time alone (then reunite)
  • Blankets & comfort objects
  • Praise after a scene
  • Next-day check-in message
  • Journalling the experience
  • Planning the next scene together